An Om Shanti Om Diwali............

Mom forcefully tucked us in bed. The excitement and festive fervour hardly let us sleep. Some ‘fortunate’ people in the neighborhood had already started lighting the crackers. Deepawali was arriving! “Tomorrow we shall rush right after breakfast”, I assured Meghna, my kid sis which was more of a self assurance in reality. The three days of Diwali would mean either lightingcrackers or watching others light crackers. The forcefully imposed breaks were very annoying. How could the adults not light as many crackers , I wondered. Why do they come out only in the evenings to light it? What better business could they have the entire day? “We shall never stoplighting crackers, ok? However old we both get” I told Meg. She grinned handing me another ‘atom bomb’.

I am forced to use the clichéd phrase, “Years rolled by”. They have indeed. Diwali is arriving. I am surely happy but not ‘Crackers Happy’. It is more of “No Office Happy”. “No crackers?” I can almost hear the 10 yr old Bhavna asking me indignantly. But there is shopping or maybe some movie I reasoned out. “Boring adult!” said the kid.

With Diwali being a day away , I could not think of anything to shop for myself. Hence I offered to join mom for her saree and diya shopping. “Festive spirit” I reassured myself. Mom mentioned an unfamiliar store as our shopping destination. She had a complicated theory about the sarees there being of the best quality and best price and rare design and what not. This treasury of rare sarees was embedded in the ocean of chickpet, one of the oldest areas of Bangalore. So the Saturday before diwali, I am along with an extremely saree crazy mom and a good natured accompanist aunt. Every inch of chickpet was covered with people comprising of Festival shoppers, traders, wholesale dealers, hawkers, florists etc. There were even a few houses in some inner lanes. Nobody seemed to mind the lack of space or the piled up garbage in every corner. The lively spirit was in the air. After maneuvering ourselves through the narrowest and also the dirtiest by lanes of Bangalore , we landed at our destination. It was thankfully a quick selection and extremely pleased with the bargain we were headed towards the bazaar that sold earthen lamps.

Mom seemed to know the place like the back of her hand. “I know a shortcut” she beamed turning into a narrower by lane. “BRIDAL JEWELLERY FOR RENT” read the sign outside the shop in that lane. The sign was more prominent than the shop by itself. I was very amused by that and just stared at it for a second longer. This was enough for the shopkeeper who waved enthusiastically from his shop, beckoning us to have a look. The festive spirit, a dominant ‘window shopping rocks’ DNA and the enthu cutlet shopkeeper lured us into the shop. All the 3 walls of the shop were covered with imitation jewellery also called as 1 gram gold in the colloquial lingo. Being a staunch supporter and buyer of authentic jewellery, the usually confident mom was also not at her assured best here. My knowledge in the said area was highly limited to mom’s experience and stories.

“What TV serials do you all watch madam? Maybe we could begin with your favorite” asked the shopkeeper in a very obvious tone.

We were taken aback. I wondered if it were a prerequisite to shop for such jewellery. I was further amused but had no answer for Mr. Enthu Cutlet. "Balika Vadhu", replied mom in a tone to match with the shopkeeper’s. It was a recent addition to her crazy repertoire of television programs.

“You should watch estar pluss ( read star plus) madam. Ekta Kapoor serials are the best you know” said Mr. Cutlet in an almost didactic approach. He pointed at an extremely long gold filigree with a pendant almost the size of a cricket ball ! “This is the ‘in thing’ madam. Its selling like hot cakes after Ramola ( or was it Kamolika ?) wore it in one of the episodes. Maybe you should try it on madam" he said and I also realized that he was asking me to try it on.

I was horrified. With all due respect to the Ramolas and Kamolikas or any other vamps of the K serials I politely refused to try it on. I wondered if I bore any resemblance to any of the popular vamps as he had picked the said piece for me. Why would anybody want to look or imitate those vamps? I also realized that Enthu cutlet likes must be the source of inspiration for Ekta Kapoor to produce more and more saas bahu serials. My amusement level had soared to a new high.

Meanwhile mom had managed to pull out her new buy, the saree out of the bag and asked him if he could find something that goes with the saree. With an additional 40watts brightness in his face “Om Shanthi Om necklace Madam" replied the shopkeeper. He could have as well screamed “Eureka".

I burst out laughing. Om Shanti Om necklace! Wow! Atleast it was Deepika Padukone this time and not a Kamolika. He proudly produced a necklace with matching earrings to go with. Contrary to my expectation, the jewellery was actually attractive. The stones were more of a subtle glimmer and the gold also had a touched down polish giving the entire piece an antique look. I liked it and tried it on . I was super excited and I wanted to buy it immediately. Mom too approved of the choice. The shop keeper was jubilant. He wanted to offer a variety of choices and pointed out at one ‘Jodha Akbar Set' and even managed to find a 'Balika Vadhu Set' perhaps to please my mom. I was very firm about my Om Shanti Om set and he too happily sold the piece.

“ Do not wear it with this T shirt and jeans madam” were his parting words of advice.

Highly amused, extremely entertained and blissfully happy was I with my Om Shanthi Om necklace. “Happpy Diwaliii” replied the proud owner of Om Shanthi Om necklace to Mr. Enthu Cutlet.

Asli Bangalore!

One rainy evening, I was relishing my 4' o clock chai in our office cafeteria. The cafeteria was empty and i was enjoying the view from our 5Th floor window. The solitude I was enjoying was short lived as within a few minutes two guys entered the cafeteria. From their conversation it was evident that they hailed from other states. One guy had the typical 'new to Bangalore' neophyte look and the other guy was sounding like some self appointed gnyaan guru . Now, this guy's expression amused me to a great extent and I couldn't help but listen to his Bangalore Gnyaan session.

" Asli Bangalore tho yaha nahi hai bete" said the Guru , filling his coffee cup from the vending machine giving an ' I am a pro at it' look . He explained further," Kormangala jao... Forum Ghumo... Phir EmGee( read M.G. Road), Brigade ... Green city hai beta ( it took me a while to understand the actual meaning of this phrase).. Pizza hut.. Mc Donalds... KFC... Shopping Malls... Bindas! Welcome to Bangalore".

For someone like me who literally worships Bangalore, this seemed blasphemous. The 'defensive' nerves were twitching. The gnyaan guru likes are also the ones who can go on complaining endlessly about the traffic snarls and the auto drivers of Bangalore. But the 'gnyaan guru' also set me thinking.

It is true that over the last few years Bangalore has witnessed a great change especially in the demographic terms. The shiny Billboards, jazzy malls , sprawling IT companies, multiplexes , pubs , even the red Volvo buses has no doubt made Bangalore and Bangaloreans proud.
But at the same time Bangalore has also retained its originality and many just fail to see it.

One evening , step out of the house and walk into a park with a packet of potato wafers from the nearest Hot Chips store just to watch the children play. You might even be surprised when you find yourself smiling at the group of old men chatting away. Take the road to the nearest market, enjoying the cool breeze from the rain trees forming a canopy above. Slowdown when you are approaching an iyengar bakery to enjoy the aroma emanating from the bakery and be sure to eat a vegetable puff. Glaring neon lights will attract your attention soon and you will be staring at the name board of either a darshini or a sagar restaurant. Enter the restaurant to savour a Masala Dosa and next have a cup of strong filter coffee. Now enter the busy market just to get a glimpse of the simple Bangalore lifestyle: hawkers yelling and selling their wares, mamis and aunties haggling over the price of jasmine flowers, children running to their favourite balloon man, chiming bells from the nearby temple and people crowding around the churmurivala . The whole place would be brimming with energy. Walk back to your house on the quiet streets of your locality listening to the Kannada serial theme songs and dialogues coming from all those houses in your colony . Now, was that not a lovely evening?

We need to realise that mere complaining can never help anybody. It is preposterous for the natives to label people new to Bangalore as 'outsiders' or 'invaders'. The natives could instead help preserve the culture of Bangalore by introducing others to it.

It is equally silly on the part of people relatively new to Bangalore to complain about the traffic and increasing mercury levels. Such problems are being faced by all Indian cities and Bangalore is no exception. Judging the nature of a city by the mentality of the city's auto drivers is nothing but stupid. People are of all kinds and you might have just had some tough luck with some auto chaps. Do care to wave to your neighbours the next time.

Metropolitan culture is relatively new to Bangalore when compared with the other Indian metros. It is natural for difference of opinions to be arising. A mature handling can certainly help Bangalore to remain as the lovely city that it has always been and to be at its ASLIEST BEST. :)